An Ode to Lysol
If my house smells like Lysol
That’s because I sprayed the disinfectant everywhere
Nothing brings out OCD like a tiny dose of germs
If my house smells like Lysol
That’s because I just used the cleaner everywhere
Especially on the door handles – his fever went up, you know
Nothing brings out OCD like a growing dose of germs
If my house smells like Lysol
That’s because I didn’t think the disinfectant and cleaner were enough
So I added in the wipes – they really are useful
And then I wiped everything I could find
Nothing brings out OCD like germs that are everywhere
If my house smells like Lysol
That’s because I got the floor cleaner
And then I thought, since I’m already at the store, might as well
Get some spongers, and more paper towels,
And hand sanitizer, and some toilet disinfectant, gloves, you know
Nothing brings out the OCD like a germ I think I may have seen
If my house smells like Lysol
That’s because I bought the heavy duty concentration
I feel like if we’re going for it, we might as well go all in
So I just poured it on the floor and used my body to spread it
And then I sprayed my shower down, before I washed off the germs
And afterwards of course – don’t want those pesky germs hanging around
Nothing brings out the OCD like germs whose spread we could stop
If your child smells like Lysol
That’s because I sprayed her with it
But only a little on her clothes
I just wanted to make sure she didn’t infect herself
From herself – you know, with the germs she already has
Reinfection is a very common and dangerous thing
There should be more articles written about it
Nothing brings out the OCD like germs that are here and may come back
If your child smells like Lysol
That’s because I sprayed her clothes again
Because I saw her touch her face
And then her coat – and we all know how that goes (pls. see above)
We couldn’t have her brush against a surface, lest a germ land on it
And then we brush on it, and somehow manage to lick that part
Of our arm, even though it’s hard to reach – I knew you’d understand
Nothing brings out the OCD like a germ that might have made you crazy
